Ever since Silas, my son, was developing in my womb in the third trimester of pregnancy, I started humming and singing "Kumbaya" to him, simply because I enjoyed the calming lyrics and rhythm. During his infancy through nightly feedings up until 6 months, I sang to him this and many other calming songs. At 6 months, he began sleeping through the night for 7 hours and I felt so much relief knowing that we had gotten through the sleep deprivation stage.
Then I found out that I was sadly mistaken and that growth spurts, teething, and diapers still can interfere with the sleep consistency off and on throughout the baby's growth and development. So, for months 6 and 7, Silas slept through the night. Then suddenly at month 8 he would wake up due to teething. This month (month 9) he has woken up throughout the night due to wet diapers, a growth spurt (meaning more feedings) and teething.
Has it been exhausting putting him in his crib multiple times? Rocking him while he cries, whines and squirms at 2 am as I am trying to figure out why has surely been taxing on me and exhaustion is definitely common for mommas as you know already.
"Kumbaya": the meaning of the song
After singing and humming "Kumbaya" multiple times (sang it once when I was a teen at a bonfire) I became curious as to its meaning.
The song's title means "come by here".
"The term kumbaya originates in an African-American spiritual song from the American South. The earliest record in the Library of Congress’s American Folklife Center (AFC) comes from lyrics collected in North Carolina in 1926 for a song called “Oh Lord, Won’t You Come By Here.” The spiritual pleads for divine intervention—for God to come by here and help a people in great need, referencing an area historically connected to the enslavement and oppression of African Americans. The word kumbaya is taken from the song’s refrain."-Dictionary.com
As I sing the lyrics to my little boy, I allow it to soothe my mind as it does his. Now that I know that it means to welcome God's presence with me in my discomfort and exhaustion, it's lyrics put my spirit at peace.
Mental, Spiritual, & Emotional Rest
Mentally & Spiritually I attend to my health when I cannot attend to my physical health (sleeping)
Change of thought and prayer patterns
I used to pray and think out of anxiety that I wouldn't get enough sleep. My thought and prayer pattern looked something like this:
"Lord, I pray Silas sleeps through the night tonight" (because I want to sleep).
Praying and thinking this way allowed anxiety and my desire for control over my circumstances to take over my emotional well-being.
There have been times after I prayed this that I, my husband, or my cats would accidentally wake Silas up. I would surrender immediately to my exhaustion and allow frustration to control my thought patterns, words, and actions.
Chaos enters
The scenarios went something like this:
A) Silas wakes up for the third time. I recognize the clock says 1 or 2 am. I tell my brain I am exhausted because I feel it physically.
B) I fling off the covers and say "Not again." and sigh in frustration as I grab my cup of water and head to my baby's room to anticipate what the matter is.
C) My baby's reactions to whatever is bothering him changes the tone of the environment: this can range from a quiet whimper to loud, long cries that settle down quickly or take a long time to calm. It is during this time that my decisions and thoughts will determine the next few minutes.
Here are each of my decisions I have made on nights like these:
During quiet whimpers, nursing & rocking:
1.) Singing & humming while tuning in to my body's physical fatigue
2.) Silence as I try to physically rest
During loud, chaotic moments:
1.) my emotional reaction based on sleep deprivation (ranging from irritable sighs to angry yelling to being physically rough)
2.) Fixing/ Attempt to fix problems while in tune with my emotions ; anxious to get back to sleep
Peace Enters
When I started praying,
"Lord, give me the wisdom on how to attend to his (Silas') needs" or
"Lord, help me to put him to sleep"
those prayers registered from my spirit to my mind that even though I do not have control over these circumstances and over my need for sleep, that I can still have rest & peace even in the midst of these very uncomfortable times.
Those prayers have the essence of the prayer by Dietrech Bonhoeffer which goes like this (an adapted version):
It changes my focus from my undesirable circumstances to the control of my emotions, thoughts, and actions. So the following scenario in turn, has gone something like this:
A) Silas wakes up for a third time. I seek strength outside of myself through intentional prayer instead of through my own strength and desperation. I trust God can get me through another night and give me wisdom on what to do.
B) I focus on being intentional and calm rather than focusing on my exhaustion. Therefore, I take deep intentional breaths which sends oxygen to my brain (rather than sighing which would result in feeling the fatigue more).
C) My baby's reactions to whatever is bothering him changes the tone of the environment: this can range from a quiet whimper to loud, long cries that settle down quickly or take a long time to calm. It is during this time that my decisions and thoughts will determine the next few minutes.
When I focus on intentional prayer, deep breathing, and remaining calm through chaos, I choose peace and calmness through the chaotic environment. My body remaining calm through prayer and trusting in the Lord. By doing this, I think clearer through exhaustion, find solutions quicker because I remain calm which usually transfers calm energy to my little boy quicker as well.
Sometimes I sing calming songs during the screaming and crying.
Sometimes I pray out loud.
sometimes I stay quiet and tune my ears to other sounds or visual stimuli in the room to distract me from the loudness.
I strive to focus on remaining positive.
MOST importantly , I thank the Lord for helping me help my child, and helping me remain calm.
I also acknowledge myself for making good choices in this tough situation. It is challenging to our health and our emotional maturity to respond in a way that is healthy for all of us.
Back to "Kumbaya"...
"Come by here, Lord" for we need help when everyone else is sleeping.
"Come by here, Lord" for we need sleep and rest and are burnt out.mommas.
"Come by here, Lord" because we are out of solutions.
"Come by here, Lord" because we are only human and are tempted to feel angry at our child; sad we are not getting enough sleep.
"Come by here, Lord Jesus" to be with us now.
Make the song lyrics a prayer during the "wee" hours of the night. Make it your singing prayer, your humming prayer, your prayer of exhaustion when night turns to dawn too quickly for you.
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