Remember What Pre-Baby Life Was Like?
Moving baby supplies and furniture around can give us a sense of purpose as we organize our home for our little one, typically as the "nesting" phase peaks during the third trimester. In fact, during the entire pregnancy, perhaps you were able to keep everything in your life in little organized "piles": housework, hobbies, social life? Maybe this was because mothers are driven towards a goal (providing for a baby) and have predictable amounts of time to tend to other activities, interests, or goals in their lives.
Suddenly, finding purpose in the daily grind can feel like looking for a lost earring on a speckled carpet.
Sometimes, finding a creative, freeing sense of purpose can be found in the most unlikeliest places during times when we feel we do nothing but give: in the act of giving itself.
Something to Take Pride In
- Perhaps in your life you took pride in the work of your very two hands (and mind), be it : a college research paper, a recipe you baked from scratch, the way you let your paintbrush ease its way around the canvas, or crunching numbers for your family budget so you could put money into savings.
Perhaps it was less challenging to do simple activities or activities you enjoyed. Now that there is another human in your life that is dependent on you, those activities might take a back seat but it doesn't mean that creativity needs to. It simply means that expressing your creativity and feeling purposeful is different than it was before your motherhood journey started. Maybe it even will strengthen your ability to think outside-the-box and solve problems, thereby strengthening your creativity and your desire to give to others outside your home. This is what I'm finding out about myself at least and here is why I think so:
An Example of Purposeful Giving
- In Exodus 35, supplies for a sacred item--the Ark of the Covenant--were needed. It was completed by people who wanted to use their designer-skills, artistic, workmanship, and detail-oriented skills to create a beautifully crafted item which served a purpose. People gave out of the willingness & generosity of their own hearts. (Exodus 35:22)
Creativity & a Giving Heart Is In Our Nature
- We are mirrored creatures: God created us in His own image and gave us everything else he created. So He is creative and we are creative by nature. (Gen. 1:27)
- Here is a researched based article proving that creativity is in us from the start:
- It's cyclical: God gave (and still gives) people skills so they can use those skills to benefit Himself.and others
- In Exodus 35:31-35, the people are given:
- wisdom, knowledge, understanding, all kinds of skills
- ability to teach others
- ability to do all kinds of work
The Word "Give" Gives More Than You Think It Would
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, there are over 20 definitions of the word "give". Here are some highlights of what it covers: giving (or making) a gift or present, giving responsibility/ trust, yielding to someone, giving a public performance, to attribute in thought, giving a product, to carry out in movement or facial expression, to enter wholeheartedly into an activity. Those encompass a lot of opportunities for freedom and creativity.
Why would the act of giving be considered creative and purposeful?
From my perspective, I think generosity helps us consider another person's perspective by asking "what does someone else want or need? " How can I make what I am presenting to this person uniquely from me or with my own style?
According to the Thesarus, synonyms that align with the word "purposeful" are: valuable, worth the effort, useful, positive, helpful (to name a few).
So to me, that means if writing out a card or note of encouragement to someone gives them a positive experience for the day, that is purposeful. If I take five minutes and I plant flowers and put them on my porch for pedestrians to see beauty, that is purposeful.
Breaking It Down...
Wisdom, Knowledge, Understanding, All Kinds of Skills
This chart boils it down into strengths, likes, and so on:
Ways I've Felt Creative & Purpose through Giving through Motherhood
- Logic: It's been enjoyable for me to make my baby's development enjoyable for him. Cheering or singing to him encourages and distracts him during his tummy time. He smiles more and whines less! We both enjoy it.
- Music: singing or humming every kind of low-key song imaginable to my baby while putting him to sleep. Then, when I run out of those, I create my own lyrics and tunes. It's fun to play around with different rhythms
- Nature: Bringing my baby outside in a bouncer seat as we both enjoy being outside. Sometimes I will plant a flower or two. When we don't have enough time to do that, we will water the plants together. My expectations and desire for being outside were too high in the beginning of motherhood (weeks or a couple months in). I wanted to take long walks like I used to. There are days I only get a few minutes outside, days that we do take nice 45 minute walks and other days there is no time outside at all. When we do get to, I am giving both my baby and I fresh air, sunshine, and the experience of nature.
- People: Stepping out of my comfort zone to say "hi" or chat with my neighbors, postman/postwoman, other pedestrians on our walks feels so trivial at the moment but mean so much on days when I cannot seem to get out the door ! It gives others respect, social interaction, and it models for my child communication with others.
- Also, facebook mom groups (and other media communication outlets) have provided some social leeway but can act as "social fast food" if I only let that supplement my social life. Sending birthday cards, family group texts, and having others over to visit all accumulate to a world of purposeful times together.
- Words & Pictures: Literacy can start at any age. I started reading to my little one months into his growth and the lighthearted children's books give me a mental break. It's also purposeful in the language development for my child I can be creative and silly; I can observe my baby discover new things as he looks at the story alongside me.
- (This article states reading as early as 4 months old is beneficial for children): Read Early and Often • ZERO TO THREE.
How have you given creatively and purposefully in those categories?
Creative & Purposefulness through your acts of giving does not have to take up an hour or more of time or cost a single penny.
15 Minutes or Less
Perhaps others in your household enjoy when you...
sing and dance with them, write them a 5 words or less "lunch" note, doodle them a picture that would make them laugh, actively listen about their day, blend them a smoothie, lighting incense (or whatever you use to make the house smell good)
Perhaps others in your circle of friends or family enjoy when you...
take a walk around the block with them; work on a puzzle together (keep a jigsaw puzzle out and freely work on it long-term),;share photos of each other through text/ social media; pray for wisdom on how to solve an issue they are dealing with; send a random note or card (this can take 15 minutes or less); write them a haiku (three line poem)
Perhaps others in your community enjoy when you...
wrote a supportive, uplifting comment on a thread in social media; beautify your neighborhood by planting one or two flowers around your home; wrote a note of support to a local person of admiration (buisness owner, community service member, mayor); invite a neighbor to go on a walk with you or over for dinner
This article is geared towards the Thanksgiving holiday, but why not try one of these out?
Here are some ways to thank community members: 5 groups of community heroes. 5 ways to say thanks (aarp.org)
Perhaps others nationally or globally would appreciate that you...
wrote a note of encouragement to a celebrity or role model who influenced you; replace plastic or non-biodegradable items for more eco-friendly ones as they run out (i.e. when my son was running out of diapers, I found a better budget and eco-friendly product), financially supported a child in a foreign country (these organizations usually correspond with letters and pictures too).
I hope to hear the creative things you did for others recently! Feel free to drop a comment and /or photo! Your creativity can soar through this time, mama. This time can feel purposeful and freeing for you.
Parts 2 & 3 of this "Planted & Purposeful Series" yet to come.
References:
4.https://www.stretchedcounselor.com/uploads/1/0/4/0/10408064/multiple-intelligence-chart-1_1_orig.jpg
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